How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
