you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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