And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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