So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
