ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
