You smell like stripper and shame
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
