Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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