if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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