tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
