Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I came so hard my ears popped.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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