come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
