I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
