I don't think brook has ever known best
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
