where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
