I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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