dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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