I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize