"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
