Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
