: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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