if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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