it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Be still, my beating vagina.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
