well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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