There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
