Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just had sex bonerless
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
