i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
