I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
