it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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