I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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