There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
