A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
