Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize