How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
