with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
