Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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