After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
