I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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