i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
