i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
