remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
