You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize