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walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
