remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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