My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
