whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
