I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
