Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
