nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I could fuck to npr.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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