He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
