I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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