I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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