I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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