She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
