I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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