remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
