Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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