dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
