Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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