Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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