u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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