a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
