In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
